Hike up those halter tops and step into those strappy shoes, my young, well-hung sausages, because this week’s hash is going to be an all-out, no-holds-barred, no-groping-barred DRAG RACE! And by this I mean a race to freak out as many families as possible while they’re just trying to enjoy a nice evening in City Park. So don’t come dressed in a NASCAR jumpsuit; we’re talking drag queens here. If you can’t think of anything to wear, just think “WWNCTD?” (What would No-Cunt Troll do?) And bring your transvestite friends, they’ll fit right in.

The hash will start in front of NOMA in City Park, will be an A to B with transportation back to the start, and will be live-hared by the fabulous drag duo of Erectiaphobic and Lack-a-Virgin.

So don your most implausible wig, paint your face with garish makeup, pull on a tutu, do whatever you gotta do to make sure YOU are the belle of the ball! (or is that the belle with the balls?… hmm)

Hares: Lack-A-Virgin, Hey! and Erectiaphobic (Virgin Lay!)
When: October 22nd, 6:30 pm
Where: New Orleans Museum of Art, Mid-City
Theme: Drag Queen Racing
Phone: 504.444.1582

As always, the hash costs $1 and a six pack. If you don’t bring beer, we’ll look at you funny, and reluctantly accept $6 instead. If you don’t bring a flashlight and a whistle, don’t come crying to me if you fall in some hole in city park and they find your bones 30 years from now… along with a pair of stripper heels.

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

The trail was through the area of good ol’ Jefferson Parish by the river, criss-crossing train tracks and passing under highways and byways and dipping through ditches and some shiggerific overgrowth. I don’t know about you, but I was ankle-deep in mud in a few places. Well done to our THREE HARES. Seriously, who needs three hares to lay a trail? And with three hares, surely you don’t need a 10-minute head start. They laid enough YBFs and false trails to make even a cheetah exhausted. I’m serious. A fucking cheetah.

We had FOUR NEW VIRGINS today. We only would’ve needed one more to make a gangbang. But I guess foursomes are cool, too. So we introduced ourselves to them, and they to us, and we asked them who made them cum to the hash. One of them even said no one made him cum – he wanted to come! We encourage this kind of enthusiasm here at the VooDoo HHH. Our ultimate goal is to foster an environment in which orgies can grow and thrive. It’s like a, grassroots community thing. Good for the kids.

We had a slew of accusations tonight! I think there were about ten people in the circle, and that was even before Wee-Blow called in the hares for screwing up chalk talk. Sinners walk among us.

To wrap things up, we had some awards – a few VooDoo candles* and a couple of necklaces**.  Then we had some announcements – upcoming hares are booked through October, Erectiaphobic and I were voluntold to be the hares on Oct. 22nd, Fill Me Up is having a birthday bash, and the Deutsches Haus is holding Oktoberfest for the next 4 weekends. Plus, THE 100TH VOODOO HASH IS GOING DOWN NEXT WEEK! Be there, and don’t forget the social next Friday, too!  All that and more will be dutifully posted on the calendar.

Oh, and they made me dance like a zombified Michael Jackson for the umpteenth time. Assholes.

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

 
*Mexican candles
**NOT pearl necklaces… unfortunately

And by Just Nora, I really mean Erectiaphobic!

Turns out that was kinda clever! Go me! Okay, maybe it wasn’t. You may now go back to biting me.