Our own Gilded Huffer / Sharpie Bandit

Posted January 22nd, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her

If you went to Puppy Love Machine’s hash the other week, the Mardi Gras themed Carniball Maskerbaton hash, you may have seen or met Erectiaphobia’s hubby, Just Mike:

In my head, being primarily comprised of over 9,000 internets, I didn’t see Just Mike. I saw a combination of three chuckleheads:

1) The Gilded Huffer:

Our friend here, Patrick Tribett, was arrested in a hardware store trying to buy more spraypaint. The above is his mugshot. *facepalm*

2 and 3) The Sharpie Bandits:

Police received a call Friday night that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.

When police stopped a vehicle matching the caller’s description blocks away, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.

There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads; instead, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, streaked their faces with permanent black marker.

Carroll Police Chief Cayler told CNN the strange disguises made it easier for his officers.

“We’re very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,” Cayler said jokingly. “I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I’ve never heard of coloring your face with a permanent marker.”

There’s a naming in here for our friend Just Mike. We already have a few suggestions, most by his loving wife:
The Purple Sanchez, Freeze-Dried Golden Showers, Sparkle’stache, The Bearded Glam (hard to say, but funny), Sparklecock, The Masked Ass Bandit.

Any more?

Tags: Erectiaphobia, Just Mike

Tags: Erectiaphobia, Just Mike