VooDoo #107 – Guy Fawkes Hash!

Remember, remember, the fifth of November.

Hares: Pastor Bait-Her, Udderly Rititulous, Just Andee
When: November 5th, 6:30 pm
Where: Spain St. and N. Peters St. (The Marigny)
Theme: Guy Fawkes / V for Vendetta / All Black!
Phone: 504.251.8320

$1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you suck and don’t bring any beer. As always, don’t be the 1% that doesn’t bring your flashlight and a whistle!

Tags: Guy Fawkes, Just Andee, Marigny, Pastor Bait-Her, Udderly Rititulous, V for Vendetta

VooDoo #104 – Hash Trash

In a fitting tribute to the best holiday of the year (other than Mardi Gras, of course) today’s trail ran us past a haunted house and through cemeteries and desolate back alleys. It was truly a frightening trail because we had Licks Em Young, barely a veteran himself, trying to teach Just Jarvis the ways of the hare. Yet through some miracle the trail actually turned out half-decent! There were even a couple of YBFs thrown in there. Though there wasn’t nearly enough zig-zagging through gravestones and mausoleums in my opinion. It’s not that I like trampling the dead with utter disrespect, I just like dead women.

Enough about the trail, on-on to the circle, where we had another round of new Hash Namings! First off there was those two “wild and craaazy guys” from eastern Europe: Just Jakob and Just Nikola! Here they are in Hawaiian shirts. Notice the green bottles they’re drinking; what is that, Heineken? Czechvar? You and your imported pilseners… just for that they shall now be known as Check My Small Cockia and Eastern Cock Block! Then we had Just Kessyn who also had a pre-cooked name. Don’t ask me how or why, but he shall forever be known as Pusti Malaka (sp?), which means faggot masturbator in Greek, of course. Next up was Just Kristen, for whom we had a flurry of names: Tightens When Wet, 30-year-old Boobs, Cums With Camo… but the theme of cold and wet stuck, and we finally settled on Shiver Me Nipples! Also, a bonus: we got to name her dog Camo Toe. Last but not least we had Just Juan, who’s been running with us every so often since the earliest days of the VooDoo. And he still isn’t named, can you imagine that? We pulled this sinner into the circle and had his girlfriend Haf-Wax tells us all his most embarrassing stories, which involved urine way too often, for one thing (and yes, Wee-Blow Master’s camera just happened to catch him in the background “adjusting” himself). We had some great suggestions bounced around, like Polly Pissy Pants or Wet Dreams, and the final winner was Nocturnal Pisscharge! Congrats to all the newly baptised hashers!

Whew, that was a lot of work, all that naming! I think it’s time for a cold beer…

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

P.S. When you sausages get named, don’t forget to change your name on HashSpace, and if you’re not on HashSpace, give someone your email and they’ll shoot you an invite. Also, give Pastor Bait-Her your email if you want him to change how your name appears on the weekly Evite.

P.P.S. Tomorrow while you wankers are hashing I’ll be northbound on I-85 somewhere. Y’all had better look me up if you’re ever around Boston. It’s been real, and I hope to come see you all again real soon!

Tags: cemeteries, Check My Small Cockia, Eastern Cock Block, Halloween, Licks Em Young, naming, Nocturnal Pisscharge, Shiver Me Nipples

VooDoo #104 – My Name is Jack …

I’m a big scrapey/not-bendy/sore from my post Saints game shenanigans the other evening (I swear to God I’ll pistol-whip the next guy that says ‘shenanigans‘), so instead of something resembling cleverness, I’ll instead treat you to a song:

My name is Jack (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I’m a Necrophiliac (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I fuck dead women (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
And I fill ‘em full of jism (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
I get frustrated (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
When they’re cremated (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
‘Cause try as you must (nah nah-nah nah-nah nah-nah)
You can’t fuck dust!

So there you go – don’t say I never do anything for you.

Hares: Licks ‘Em Young  and Just Jarvis (Virgin Lay!)
When: October 29th, 6:30 pm
Where: Rosedale Dr. and City Park Ave. Park on City Park Ave. – not in Delgado’s parking lot.
Theme: Halloween / Zombie / Necrophilia
Phone: 504.251.8320

As always, the hash costs $1 and a six pack. If you don’t bring beer, we’ll look at you funny, and reluctantly accept $6 instead. If you don’t bring a flashlight and a whistle, well, it’s Halloween week. Nobody will find you for a while.

Tags: Halloween, Just Jarvis, Licks Em Young, Mid-City, Virgin Lay

Hashoween 2009!

Man, just when you thought you’d caught your breath from the non-stop onslaught that was Red Dress Week, here comes Hashoween!* Here’s a quick run-through of what’s going on:

Thursday Oct. 29th: Cemetery Hash!

Hares: Licks ‘Em Young and Just Jarvis. Regular hash “rules” ($1 + 6-pack). Meet at Rosedale Dr. and City Park Avenue at 6:30, hares off at 7.  Park on City Park Ave. – not in Delgado’s parking lot.

Saturday Oct. 31st (Halloween): 2nd Anal Costume Pub Crawl

“Hared” by Tidy Bowl Man, Montana Boy Toy and Just Kim. Meet up at Molly’s at the Market at 5. This isn’t so much a hash, as a parade. A GODDAMNED PARADE IN OCTOBER! Do we need a reason? Hell No! NOH3 will be there, and accepting $5 for keg-on-wheels access. Make sure you bring plenty of cash for the planned and unplanned barstops. Remember: No Coolers, No Snack Kitty, No Beertruck to store your crap! No money collected – so no bitching! This is a costumed parade! Tidy Bowl says he might have an award for Best Costume.

Sunday Nov. 1st (Dia de los Muertos): 2nd Anal Black Dress Run!

Hared by Pastor Bait-Her and Tidy Bowl Man. Meet up at 3pm at the neutral ground at Elysian Fields and Chartres – right by the Old New Orleans Rum building (formerly the Schoen FUNeral Home!). Usual hash “rules” ($1, 6-pack), and YOU MUST WEAR A BLACK DRESS! This ain’t no blue tank top run or a comfy sweater run, it’s the VooDoo’s damned Black Dress Run! I will make one exception though – if you haven’t gone home and are still wearing your costume from Halloween night, I will allow that. That is all!

 
More details to be posted as the events draw closer – this is just more of a heads-up all in one convenient location. Aren’t I just so gorram nice?

*Note: this isn’t an organized, RDR-sized monster event. I just felt like making a graphic, so hurry up and make with the biting of me.

Tags: Black Dress Run, French Quarter, Halloween, Just Jarvis, Just Kim, Licks Em Young, Marigny, Molly's at the Market, Montana Boy Toy, NOH3, Pastor Bait-Her, Tidy Bowl Man

VooDoo #103 – Drag Race!

Hike up those halter tops and step into those strappy shoes, my young, well-hung sausages, because this week’s hash is going to be an all-out, no-holds-barred, no-groping-barred DRAG RACE! And by this I mean a race to freak out as many families as possible while they’re just trying to enjoy a nice evening in City Park. So don’t come dressed in a NASCAR jumpsuit; we’re talking drag queens here. If you can’t think of anything to wear, just think “WWNCTD?” (What would No-Cunt Troll do?) And bring your transvestite friends, they’ll fit right in.

The hash will start in front of NOMA in City Park, will be an A to B with transportation back to the start, and will be live-hared by the fabulous drag duo of Erectiaphobic and Lack-a-Virgin.

So don your most implausible wig, paint your face with garish makeup, pull on a tutu, do whatever you gotta do to make sure YOU are the belle of the ball! (or is that the belle with the balls?… hmm)

Hares: Lack-A-Virgin, Hey! and Erectiaphobic (Virgin Lay!)
When: October 22nd, 6:30 pm
Where: New Orleans Museum of Art, Mid-City
Theme: Drag Queen Racing
Phone: 504.444.1582

As always, the hash costs $1 and a six pack. If you don’t bring beer, we’ll look at you funny, and reluctantly accept $6 instead. If you don’t bring a flashlight and a whistle, don’t come crying to me if you fall in some hole in city park and they find your bones 30 years from now… along with a pair of stripper heels.

On-On,
Lack-a-Virgin, Hey!

Tags: City Park, drag queens, Erectiaphobic, Lack A Virgin Hey

Spread ‘Em Wide

This past Sunday, Tandy Ass’ father Spread ‘Em Wide (Louis) passed away.

Spream ‘Em Wide was a long-ago hasher with NOH3. I was fortunate enough to spend time with him right after Katrina and then sporadically over the past few years. Louis was truly a special person – incredibly kind, devilishly clever, and incredibly smart. Several years ago, he was diagnosed with brain cancer. It looked like he had beaten it but a few weeks ago, it came back strong.

Please send along your thoughts and prayers to Tandy Ass and Just Andee.

Tags: Just Andee, Spread 'Em Wide, Tandy Ass

VooDoo #102 – Lack-A-Posse, Hey?

I usually joke in circle that there won’t be a quiz. Today is an exception, but don’t worry, it’s not difficult. There is a 10 second time limit though.

Aaaaaaaaaand go!

Does this week’s hash have to do with:
A) Lack-A-Virgin, Hey!
2) Chum Dumpster
C) Show Me Your Posse

Ok, pencils down, class.  HEY! 2Mo5Ho, I said pencils down! Do you want to sit on some ice again?
I didn’t think so.

If you chose C, congratulations, you win! And what’s your prize? A hash this week hared by Show Me Your Posse! Aw, don’t feel bad losers, you get a prize too – a hash this week hared by Show Me Your Posse! What are the chances?

This hash was supposed to be co-hared by Chum Dumpster, but looks like he got too nervous about his virgin lay – and I don’t blame him. That Posse is an animal! Rawwwrrr!

Meet up at the old Rock N’ Bowl at Tulane Ave. and S. Carrollton at 6:30, Posse is off at 7, and her posse (that’s us!) will follow shortly.

Hares: Show Me Your Posse
When: October 15th, 6:30 pm
Where: Old Rock N’ Bowl, Tulane Ave. and S. Carrollton, Mid-City
Phone: 919.451.9521

$1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you suck and don’t bring any beer. As always, don’t be the 1% that doesn’t bring your flashlight and a whistle!

Tags: Chum Dumpster, Mid-City, Old Rock N' Bowl, Show Me Your Posse

VooDoo’s 101 Chalmatians

Well, the mighty 100th hash has come and gone, and I reckon it’s time move on … move on DOWN DA ROAD! That’s right chickens! We’re hashing in ST. BERNARD GODDAMN PARISH!

Tighter Twat and Ready Whip will be taking us on a hash that I’m sure we’ll want to, but will never forget. Looks like there’s plenty of shiggy in the area, so it may not be a bad idea to throw on some shiggy socks.

WATCH OUT ST. BERNARD! HERE CUMS THE VOODOO!

Hares: Tighter Twat and Ready Whip
When: October 8th, 6:30 pm
Where: Old Wal*Mart parking lot at W Judge Perez St and Dr Meraux Blvd, Chalmette
Theme: Dalmatian, Chalmatian
Phone: 504.312.0015

$1 and a 6-pack, $6 if you suck and don’t bring any beer. As always, don’t be the 1% that doesn’t bring your flashlight and a whistle!

Tags: Chalmette, Ready Whip, Tigher Twat

A word from Dental Dam-zel

Thanks so much!
For my VooDoo Faithful…
I can’t express how amazed and awed I was at the unbelievable turnout and reception that Dock, Cougar Catcher and I got the other night.  We were completely blown away.  We had a great idea, and you all turned it into something spectacular.

We had such a wonderful time, and if I didn’t get to meet you or didn’t get to talk to you that much that’s because there were EIGHTY-FIVE PEOPLE THERE!!!!    I’m sorry if I didn’t spend enough time with everyone, but it was such a great time nonetheless.  We can’t thank you enough for all that you’ve done for the hash and the reception you gave us.  What a truly special (and I don’t mean “ride the short bus special”) group we are!

On-on-on-on-on  to our next 100!
Love and hugs,
Dental

Tags: Dental Dam-zel

Not really #100 trash …

I couldn’t tell you how long I’ve been running circle for the VooDoo, but it’s been a good while at this point.

Our numbers have been growing – gone are the days of the regular 12 or even 20 person circle. We’re averaging 40 to 50 hashers every week, and yesterday, we blew that away – we had 85 hashers with us last night!

And while my voice this morning has gone to hell today from yelling at you chickens last night, I do have to thank you for be such a large and relatively well-behaved bunch – it made my job much easier.

For those of you who didn’t hear or weren’t there, I wrote a pledge of allegiance for the VooDoo that you all should learn. And yes, there will be a quiz later. Now puts your beers over your hearts, and say with me:

I pledge Allegiance to the flag
of the drunken hashers if VooDoo
and to the kennel, which barely stands,
one hare, ON-ON, with beer and shiggy for all.

ON-ON,
Pastor Bait-Her

Tags: 100th, circle, Pastor Bait-Her