Posted February 4th, 2010 by Everything Butt Sex
Apologies to Hobo for moving the Pre-lube to Parlay’s earlier. Nothing malicious, just thought it was easier to drink before we drink three minutes from start of the run instead of a different part of the city, but my fuck up is causing a lot of confusion so, everyone goto Mid-city at 5!
I couldn’t think of anything witty to tie in throwing up a link of the Saints going to the Superbowl and the Who-Dat Nation with a Pre-Lube tonight. So, just watch these videos to get pumped about this weekend and get to Mid-city after work today (5ish) to get pumped about running in Shitty Park. Finn’s has guinness, a juke box, and bunch of strange people who walk in constantly, but that’s why we love it. Show up and do an Irish car bomb. You’ll need a buzz for this week’s run. Dickie won’t call and cancel the rain tonight, so it looks like TWOT won’t be the only person getting wet on trail this week.
On-On,
Everything Butt Sex
No tags for this post.
Posted February 3rd, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
So, the theme was going to be along the lines of “Gettin’ Shiggy with it”, but due to:
a) me ripping up flooring this weekend with Just Jason
b) me just getting home from watching LOST with Udderly Rititulous and her folks
3) Just Mike potentially having the plague, and
d) it looking like the weather is going to be downright crappy
the theme is now “Shitty Park”. Looking at the weather forecast, it’s supposed to start raining Wednesday evening, and not stop till some time on Friday. Awesome.
One way or another, my dear chickens, plan on getting wet. I’m not saying you’re going to go swimming, but look at it this way:
1) It’s City Park – there’s normally a lot of water.
2) If it lets up just before the hash, it’ll still be all puddly and soggy and shit
c) It could very well rain during the hash.
It’s Louisiana – it tends to rain.
As far as themed attire, well I’m at a loss. You could dress up as anything shitty, whether it be an actual pig, or bacon, or Windows ME, or soon-to-be-ex-Mayor Nagin, or bacon vodka.
Mmmm, bacon vodka. If nobody shows up as bacon vodka, then someone better at least bring some. If you do however show up as bacon vodka, well, I guess you’d better bring some anyways.
Oh, and did I mention it’s Just Mike’s (Erectia’s hubby) virgin lay? Well, it is!
Theme: “Shitty Park” – seriously, look three lines up.
Location: Across from the driving range on Filmore Ave. in City Park
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Just Mike (virgin lay!) and Pastor Bait-Her
Bring $1, a six pack, a flashlight, and a whistle. If you’re a putz and don’t bring beer, forget that six dollar thing. IF YOU DON’T BRING BEER, YOU’RE PAYING 10 GORRAM DOLLARS OR GETTIN’ THE HELL OUT!
Tags:
City Park,
Just Mike,
Pastor Bait-Her,
Virgin Lay
Tags: City Park, Just Mike, Pastor Bait-Her, Virgin Lay
Posted January 29th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
I know it’s a couple of months too late, but coming soon to a haberdasher near you:
Tags:
haberdasher,
V for Vendetta,
VDH3 for Vendetta
Tags: haberdasher, V for Vendetta, VDH3 for Vendetta
Posted January 26th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
Fill Me Up’s the hare this week – so you know what that means.
Actually, I’m not sure what that means – anyone care to help a brother out?
It’s a Mardi Gras / Royalty themed hash. I know, we just had a hash the other week that was carnival themed, but ’tis the season, right? I mean, we only have Mardi Gras for a few weeks out of the year – did you know that children in China don’t even have a Mardi Gras? Not even one day!
If for no other reason, do it for the children.
And, by the way, I expected this from Missionary Impossible, Not Fill Me Up – she picked the ONE place in New Orleans that doesn’t have an address. Way to Suck, FMU.
Mardi Gras Fountain is on Lakeshore Dr., halfway between Canal Blvd and Marconi Dr.
Theme: “Royal” pain in the hash. Come dressed in Royal, Mardi Gras, or hash attire. There are no excuses for anyone not to have hash attire. Hash necklaces don’t count.
Location: Mardi Gras Fountain on Lakeshore Dr.
Time: Usual, 6:30 p.m. meet with hare away at 7:00 p.m.
Hare: Fill Me Up
Bring a dollar and a six pack and if you’re too lazy to pick up beer, you betta have $6 and a really good reason for being a wanker. Oh yeah, make sure you bring a great attitude so you don’t piss Fill Me Up off. There will be a couple of surprises at this hash, so come out and have a great time.
Tags:
Fill Me Up,
Lakefront,
Lakeview,
Mardi Gras
Tags: Fill Me Up, Lakefront, Lakeview, Mardi Gras
Posted January 22nd, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
If you went to Puppy Love Machine’s hash the other week, the Mardi Gras themed Carniball Maskerbaton hash, you may have seen or met Erectiaphobia’s hubby, Just Mike:
In my head, being primarily comprised of over 9,000 internets, I didn’t see Just Mike. I saw a combination of three chuckleheads:
1) The Gilded Huffer:
Our friend here, Patrick Tribett, was arrested in a hardware store trying to buy more spraypaint. The above is his mugshot. *facepalm*
2 and 3) The Sharpie Bandits:
Police received a call Friday night that two men with hooded sweatshirts and painted faces had tried to break into a man’s home in Carroll, Iowa.
When police stopped a vehicle matching the caller’s description blocks away, they were stunned by the men’s disguises.
There were no ski masks or stockings pulled over their heads; instead, Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, streaked their faces with permanent black marker.
Carroll Police Chief Cayler told CNN the strange disguises made it easier for his officers.
“We’re very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,” Cayler said jokingly. “I have to assume the officers were kind of laughing at the time. I’ve never heard of coloring your face with a permanent marker.”
There’s a naming in here for our friend Just Mike. We already have a few suggestions, most by his loving wife:
The Purple Sanchez, Freeze-Dried Golden Showers, Sparkle’stache, The Bearded Glam (hard to say, but funny), Sparklecock, The Masked Ass Bandit.
Any more?
Tags:
Erectiaphobia,
Just Mike
Tags: Erectiaphobia, Just Mike
Posted January 20th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
UPDATE!
I just talked to the lady at the facility, and even though their recording says no outside food and drink, what they really mean is, “Just give us a heads up about coolers.” Sweet. They need a two weeks notice for booking, and they are free for March and April as of now. So, I’ve gotten some suggestions for when and when not to have it, and these are our options thus far:
CAN
March 5th & 6th
March 12th & 13th (Note the 13th is the Irish Channel Parade)
April 9th & 10th
CAN’T
March 19th & 20th (VDH3 Campout)
March 26th & 27th (Pastor and Udderly’s Wedding–if neither of you are planning on doing this, let me know)
April 2nd & 3rd (CCC 10K)
April 16th & 17th (Personal Engagment, i.e. Pirate Weekend)
I’ll not even go into the Jazzfest Schedule…
They have weekday and weekend rates, but I don’t see this happening on a week night, so I’ve narrowed our options down to Friday and Saturday night ($24.45 + tax). And, apparently they will deliver us approximately two slices of pizza per person 
So, with that in hand, y’all let me know what’ll work ASAP, so we can get this thing going. Again, it’s open to whoever, and if we don’t get enough, I’ll open it to all of NOH3, but I figured I’d let y’all have dibs first Our maximum is 1000, apparently, but I think a smallish group seems to work best. Either way, the more people that show, the more targets I’ll have to hit…
- Hobo
Hobo Contact info.
757-348-5373, or indy80@msn.com.
Tags:
Hobo Rodeo,
LASER TAG
Tags: Hobo Rodeo, LASER TAG
Posted January 19th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
I know what you’re about to read has absolutely nothing to do with this week’s trail info, and I don’t give a good goddamn. So, in lieu of witty commentary, I’ll simply say this and move on to minimal trail info:
WHO DAT, BITCHES!
And now back to our regular programming:
Hares: Just Darren (Virgin!), Tidy Bowl Man, Ready Whip
When: 6:30pm, Jan 21st
Where: Celebration Church at Transcontinental and I-10
Pre-Lube: Step Brothers Bar – W. Napoleon and Transcontinental
On-After: Just Darren’s at 2516 Margie St. Metairie, LA 70003.
Theme: cum dressed as your dream
Costs: $1 and a Six-Pack. Bring a six pack, I’m tired of running out of beer. And bring a flashlight and a gorram whistle.
Tags:
Just Darren,
Metairie,
Ready Whip,
Tidy Bowl Man,
Virgin Lay,
Wet Dream
Tags: Just Darren, Metairie, Ready Whip, Tidy Bowl Man, Virgin Lay, Wet Dream
Posted January 15th, 2010 by Everything Butt Sex
>PYUME! PYUME!<
What’s that? That’s the sweet, sweet sound of LASER TAG! As I announced in Circle last night, I’m trying to get a group of people together to do some laserin’ and taggin’ over at Adventure Quest off of Clearview in March or April (in front of the Fox and Hound).
It goes like this: I’ll be talking with the person who brokered the deal for our Kickball league this past June on the 23rd of this month, but we were privy to a nobody-but-us-allowed, overnight (Friday) experience (11p – 2a), wherein we needed a minimum of 25 people, each ponying up $24 bucks a pop, and in return we were allowed a ginormous (Webster has officially declared this a word now) bag of tokens with which to play Guitar Hero, DDR, Air Hockey, among other arcade favorites, too many Laser Tag bouts to count, and Bumper Cars.
You heard me: BUMPER CARS.
Oh, did I mention we could bring whatever booze we wanted in with us, too? Yeah. So, we brought our coolers and cases of beer, acted like a bunch of drunken, tag-happy morons, and slammed the hell outta each other in the Bumper Car arena, all to the delight of the teenagers who were left in charge. They eventually rounded us up at 2:30am, where we all were allowed to turn in our tickets for prizes. I remember there being Pizza, and I’ll ask if that was part of the deal, or not.
So, since March and April are slow (weekends that will not work are 3/19-3/20, 3/27-3/28, 4/2-4/3, and I’m sure there are more), I thought if we got together now in time for me to ask about getting the same deal, we could do this reasonably quickly. I know about 8 of you have already expressed interest, and since this is open to whoever wants to come (I’m not sure if they have a maximum limit, but I’ll ask), I think getting 25 is a no-brainer.
PS: The only drawback is you need two hands to shoot with, so I’d suggest a Camelbak. That is all.
HoboRodeo
Tags:
Hobo Rodeo,
LASER TAG
Tags: Hobo Rodeo, LASER TAG
Posted January 12th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
It’s carnival time, you know what that means…. TIT CHECK!
Hares: Puppy Love Machine and Tidy Bowl Man
When: 6:30pm, Jan 14th
Where: Rouses’ Parking lot, corner of Tchoupitoulas and Napoleon
Theme: Carnival Season. Wear carnival colors and a mask (HIGHLY recommended).
Costs: $1 and a six-pack. Bring your farking masks, flashlights, and whistles too, wankers.
Check out dantesmasquerade.com for Got Milk’s custom mask offerings. Tidy Bowl will bring some $15 masks to the hash start point for anyone who wants them.
Tags:
carnival,
Puppy Love Machine,
Tidy Bowl Man,
Uptown
Tags: carnival, Puppy Love Machine, Tidy Bowl Man, Uptown
Posted January 11th, 2010 by Pastor Bait-Her
For all of you WHINY TIT-BABIES who couldn’t bring yourselves out of your leopard-print (or worse yet, generic) Snuggies to come Hash with us, this is for you:
‘La Virgina’ Just Sarah and the ‘more-experienced’ Mr. Dickie Wongstockings laid a somewhat visible trail through the CBD and FQ, only having lost THREE people by the end of Circle. Since I.M.E. has already been named, this incident must later be noted for the namings of Just Carl and Just Jason (whose New Year’s Resolution to start showing up to the Hash on time was considered an EPIC FAIL since he only met us at the Beer Stop).
Also suspiciously absent from the Trail were late-cumming Wanker and Wankette Just Kim and Montana Boy Toy, who I suspect would have been there if they hadn’t embarked on a ‘Paleo-Diet’ just four days prior. This makes sense if you think about it (or ask MBT. He’s all about the details). At least they brought their own beer (cups). Moving on, Circle was a brief affair in which attendees and the angry (yet secretly longing to be with us) tour group behind us in Jackson Square were privy to the viewing of Cock-a-Booty Boo’s Sports Bra. This would set a trend for the rest of the evening, after (nearly) the entirety of the evening’s frozen Hashcicles proceeded to stage a HOSTILE TAKEOVER (okay, maybe not so hostile) of Rotolo’s in the FQ. Once there, Everything Butt Sex’s ‘Vaginas Are Awesome‘ shirt (talk about being the Village Bicycle) made its way through yet ANOTHER round of sweaty, beer-and-wine-soaked Hashers, in which we all finally got to see Chum Dumpster’s BODACIOUS TA-TAS (or for those of you who didn’t black out during the post-RDR pool party, the second time). Apparently there was an On-After-After at Lick-A-Lotta Cock’s house, but for those still mesmerized by the sight of Chum’s TA-TA’s, there was nothing left to do but go home for the night.
Next week’s Hares will be Tidy Bowl Man (who, apparently, STILL KNOWS NUZZING!) and Puppy Love Machine, who had BETTER not fuck up. Again. Just sayin’.
On-On!
Hobo Rodeo
And a note from Everything Butt Sex:
You can tell by picture B that it is a pretty even split by both men and women are fans of how Vaginas are awesome. I’m OK with this, but picture A is disturbing. It clearly shows that only 17% of the interactions that show how Vaginas are awesome are done by men. Do everything you can to improve that statistic today!
Tags:
Dickie Wongstockings,
Hobo Rodeo,
Just Sarah,
trash
Tags: Dickie Wongstockings, Hobo Rodeo, Just Sarah, trash
